The sun disappears much too early these days, as if chased over the horizon by the icy claws of winter. The “bold, laughing light” (https://hillbillyzen.com/tao-happens/) that so entranced me in the summer is less boisterous, its warmth weak and fleeting, snatched away by frigid wind and carried to other environs. There is a nameless dread that clutches me every evening as the daylight wanes, as chores are done earlier and more quickly to exploit the last bits of twilight. Simply walking out the door is not an option, now there are strata of garb involved; long underwear, fleece, coveralls, a hat, a scarf, gloves. Melancholy seems woven into the very fabric of each piece of clothing swaddled against my skin, binding body and soul. With one final, despondent sigh, “Another winter” (followed by the quickly repressed “Another year older”) I step outside, head down, breaths shallow to avoid a lungful of frost.
And yet…
Today the sun will shine a bit longer. Not much, just a few seconds, but longer, a promise made by the sunbeam that slants across the room this morning. Sophie and Puh (dog and cat, respectively) jockey for position within the boundaries of its warmth, draped on the recliner in languorous appreciation. I situate myself between them, ignoring the glare on the laptop screen (and the ones they give me for disturbing their nap) in order to share the balmy caress. Outside, my mare Annie stretches out in the sunlight, extending arthritic old legs to soak up the radiant comfort. To be sure, winter is far from over, in fact has barely begun. There will be snow and ice and much more dismal donning of winter attire. This day after solstice, however, I will nap in a sunbeam between a snoring dog and a purring cat. I will bundle up without complaint and go outside to stroke the neck of a feisty old quarter horse, sharing her contentment as the sun warms our bones. I will luxuriate in the primal knowledge that there is more sunlight yet to come, a little more each day.
hillbillyzendotcom 
You must be logged in to post a comment.